Helping Santa with his naughty and nice lists

November 2005


        I just heard my first obnoxious country-western version of "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree," so it must be time to make a couple of lists.

   No, not lists of bad carols or of what I want for Christmas, but naughty and nice lists. Santa needs to know who's been naughty and who's been nice this past year. Let's toss the jolly elf a couple of ideas, shall we?

        Nice. Not that I drive in that area every day and not that I had a day-to-day interest in the seemingly endless squabble over the first few years of its life, but the compromise and result of the Legacy Highway looks like a nice thing. Nice in that a parkway and it's "restrictions" is not a bad thing but a good thing; nice in that alternative forms of commuting -- rail -- can still be pursued; nice in that many with strong, opposing views went in a room and came out without shooting one another; nice that the governor signed off on it and got it going before another dollar was squandered.

        Nice. Richard Davis. I have admired how quietly and powerfully, how honestly and sincerely the father of Kiplyn Davis has handled the recent upsurge in police activity and media attention regarding his daughter's disappearance and likely death. For 10 gut-wrenching years he has gone to bed with more pain than most of us can understand. But he is still able to deliver a perfectly appropriate plea for other parents to get the truth out of their sons, and a wish that his daughter can be properly buried "before the snow flies."

       Naughty. Pinheads who turned in a mother for what she called "creative discipline." A mother had her daughter hold a sign on a busy street corner near their home. The sign said things like, "I have missed school and won't do it again," and such. It was a couple of hours. It worked. She was a teenager, not a toddler. There was no danger, physical or emotional. It was a family thing, something to talk about around, heck, Thanksgiving dinner for years to come. But someone turned the mom into social service investigators for possible child abuse.

    Naughty. People who wear cell phone head sets and use them as they walk merrily down the street or in the mall or where ever. We have finally excused and exonerated talking to one's self.

        Naughty. Big Oil, whoever that is. And if you have stock in "big oil," maybe it is you. Profits of U.S. oil companies in the quarter following Hurricane Katrina were the largest they have ever been. Ever. Exxon alone made more than $10 billion ("b") profit in three months. That's profit, not sales or money run through the system, but profit. As an industry, it was almost $50 billion. Where's Schooner Tuna when you need it? Granted that's an obscure reference to the old "Mr. Mom" movie, but you remember the company willing to make less money "until we get through these tough times." No such luck here.

        Naughty. Tom Cruise. Forget the stupidity of jumping on couches and slamming other actors for using prescription drugs or pushing his self-help anti-religion agenda. But consider the impact it has on teens and those who -- unfortunately -- look to him as an icon as he legitimizes having children out of wedlock. And shame on the tabloid television types who hype accepted adultery as news.

  Nice. Melvin Dummar. It was nice to see him make the front page again. Where has he been? For those of us who thought all along that the jury in the Howard Hughes' will case was bought off, thanks for taking the lumps that others heaped upon you in such a positive way.

   Naughty. Pres. Bush for even trying to push that Harriet Meirs gal past us as a Supreme Court justice. He said she was "the best person I could find for the job." Holy cow, he didn't look very hard. With the half-a-zillion judges and lawyers in the country, we couldn't get outside of our own office to find someone?

        Nice. The Clinton-Bush (former president, that is) tag team diplomacy efforts. It's kind of neat to see these two wise veterans serving as ambassadors and investigators and front men, both in domestic and international situations. Proof we can all get along.

        Naughty. Well, maybe just odd: Scott Stevens, the Pocatello, Idaho, TV weatherman that had an obsession with the conspiracy theory that the Russians and Japanese caused Hurricane Katrina with a electromagnetic generator that could actually manipulate weather. He based this on patterns and odd formations of hurricane this past year.

        Naughty and nice. This is likely where most of us fall. If you are leaning more to the nice side, well, good for you -- that's all we can ask. I'm not sure which way Santa Spouse will see me leaning, but if I make the nice list, I need a watchband and would love that "Ben Hur" DVD package. If I made the bad list, I guess it's country-western carols for me.