This year's flu has confusion as a symptom

So why can't I get excited about this swine flu pandemic? Or is it epidemic?

As I look up the definitions of both, I wonder about whether my hesitation to panic is a result of the safe culture in which I have grown up -- free from just about every disease except chicken pox and fear of asparagus -- or is it a result of having observed many other overreactions by government and media?

Ahh, here it is: "An epidemic occurs when a disease affects a greater number people than is usual for the locality or one that spreads to areas not usually associated with the disease. A pandemic is an epidemic of world-wide proportions."

So apprarently since it started in Mexico and moved across borders, the H1N1 virus could develop into a pandemic. That is the correct word to use.

I wonder, though, if we took away the word "swine" from it's description, would this outbreak be getting so much attention? Don't people get the flu, well, all the time? According to the CDC, about 10 percent of the population of the United States gets influenza every year, 600,000 are hosptialized and 36,000 die annually from complications of the flu. Three, at last count, had died in the United States from this new strain of the flue. About 600 people die every day from diabetes and inherent complications, just as a point of comparison.

So I am confused. Why has it appeared to be more deadly in Mexico than elsewhere? Are there inherent genetic differences or in-body resistances due to vaccination programs that make those north of the border more hardy and healthy when faced with a flu virus?

Most experts say that's not true, and many are now suspecting that there may be a secondary health issues present in Mexico -- it might even be Mexico City's poor air quality or second virus strain more prevalent in Mexico -- that have combined with the swine flu to make it more deadly there. There is also undoubtedly a reporting issue. The current number of cases reported in Mexico and the deaths therefrom show a 6 percent death rate from this flu. That's way out of line. The total number of cases certainly must have ignored thousands of milder cases like those that have been reported in the United States, which would lower the percentage of deaths in Mexico. We in America are a reporting people, I think, and we like others to commiserate with us -- thus the higher pool of total cases.

I'm also confused about how it is spread. Some reactions have included cancelling soccer games and public events. So, it is alright to house three dozen snot-nosed second graders in an enclosed room for the day but cancel outdoor activities where people might come in contact with fresh air, and maybe the flu? Did anyone shut down Wal-Mart? That's about as "public" as it comes.

One benefit that might come from this overreaction, though, is better immunizations and treatment for all influenzas, as remedies are developed.

There are lots of epidemics that scare me more than the swine flu, in case you can't tell. While I am glad there are those who are quick to jump at the mere mention of the word "influenza," I wish we could stop the rising tide of bad, bad advertisements. Even Geico, the king of advertising, has stumbled. After the effective and memorable caveman and gekko series, no one, but no one gets the "money with eyes." And those "Therm Guy" talk show ads? Hamburger Helper in an elevator? Stop it!

Can we stop the epidemic of video distributors kicking up the porn and language a notch from their theatrical releases and calling the DVD's "unrated" or "director's cut?" This is a nasty trend. And while we are thinking about it, do we really believe the swine flu will cause more harm down the line that the current epidemic of pornography? Now there's a pandemic to make plans against.

Can we stop the epidemic-like tide of steriod use in professional sports? The statistics, records, and the Hall of Fame itself mean absolutely nothing now. Unless Major League Baseball were to stop for a week, test every player, kick users out of the league permanently with no pay (they did break their contract, after all) and basically start over, we'll never believe these players are for real. Bonds and McGwire and Clemens have taken the fun of being a fan of the game out of the game.

Can we slow the epidemic of government bailouts? It is no longer comprehensible how far in debt our federal government is. The numbers wash over us without making an impact, except to make us feel that all is lost. The pig trough is officially empty.

If you or one of yours has been diagnosed with the swine flu, I'm sorry. I hope it is of short duration and that you get to finish that novel while you convalesce at home. But I hate to tell you that by this time next year, we will have forgotten all about you.

The bird flu is coming back, haven't you heard?